Always Had a Fondness
by ClawOfGlory
Summary: Takes place before HBP the lonely Narcissa Malfoy goes to visit Snape. Non-canon Snape always loved Narcissa. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This idea was conceived after reading HBP before DH came out, and back then I was convinced that Snape was in love with Narcissa, so yeah enjoy. This takes place after OOTP. Dunno if I want to make it a oneshot or not. Snape's POV.

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><p>A noise awoke me from my reading one evening, the noise of someone gently rapping at the door. I stroll over to the door and behind it find the frame a delicate woman in a large emerald cloak. At the door's open she quickly removes the hood to reveal the lovely face of Narcissa Malfoy. "What a nice surprise, Narcissa, welcome." I say. She looked ravishing as always. I gesture towards the drawing room and tell her to come in out of the cold; she mutters some thanks and glides right by me. As a gentleman, one must always hold the door for a lady.<p>

I then leave her to sit on the sofa whilst I go get some drinks. I come back and sit on the chair opposite her. "So what brings you here on this fine night?" I ask. She avoids eye contact as if thinking what to say.

"Well, it's just- I've been- with Lucius in Azkaban and now Draco took holiday with some friends- and me in that big house all alone- I've been a bit." she rambles her eyes darting around trying to avoid my eyes.

"Yes, I see" I interrupt her, to stop her from awkwardly tripping over her words more.

She continues as I drink more scotch, "And well you've always been to kind to me and Draco." Mhm I nod in agreement although I'm not really paying attention to her rambling, my mind is in a different place and I must have been starring for she then says, "Severus?"

"Yes, yes of course," I automatically reply.

"And now have you heard that he plans to move them into MY house? My HOUSE!" She adds standing up, getting more and more hysterical by the moment. "Goodness! All of them- I'm mean you're quite lovely, but all of them- I know what they've done and they are horrible people, Sev. And just I don't want Him living there, any more than I want the lot hanging around-"

"Don't speak ill of the Dark Lord." I abruptly interrupt her and the power and conviction of my voice must have startled the tiny woman for she shifts away from me.

"What has he really done for me? my family? even you?" she pleads with me.

"Everything," I reply simply.

"But surely you can see-"

"Don't speak it." I interrupt her attempts at convincing me and her obvious treachery to the Dark Lord.

"But-" she begins to protest, then breaking in sobs. Which I could expect nothing less from Narcissa; she always was emotional. Then she gets up still half sobbing, "Maybe I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. I'll just be going now." she mutters as she turns toward the door.

"Wait." I say grabbing her wrist "It's ok, you don't have to go." She wipes the fresh tears from her face and comes back to sit down next to me.

"It's just I have no one else to go to. I always had Lucius and-" she stops lost in space starring out the window.

"I know." I say grasping her hands in consolement. She looks up at me at this sudden show of affection. The look of sorrow replaced with some else- something more primal.

Many things then happen very fast, and I find myself with our lips locked. Innocent at first then she pushes me down on the sofa, on top of me kissing my neck then whispering in my ear, her hands are wandering, I can't tell what she's saying all I can do is feel the tickling of her tongue upon my ear.

Always had a fondness for her I did, even in our school days, the memories relive in my brain, but she was always with Lucius. hanging all over him all the time and we- we were just friends.

But then these thoughts are interrupted by her, she stops looks down at me and the green eyes meet gray. The lust has left her eyes now, filled with the regret of the previous moment. She pulls away from me and starts pacing the room her voice full of hysteria again. " Oh, I shouldn't have done that- I'm married- and Lucius away suffering- and here's me going off and- haven't been quite right since he left, ya know? And you I shouldn't mess with you like that, you've always been so- and the Dark Lord- and Draco- Goodness, goodness, goodness- I came here with the full intention of sleeping you." She confesses, "I'm so horrible." She collapses of the sofa sobbing with her head in her hands yet again. Narcissa if anything other than a good mother and narcissist was a drama queen.

I debate whether to just leave her alone, seeing as how I'm partly the cause of the problem or go over to console her. I decide after internal struggle the latter.

I envelope her in my arms and she leans into me as she continues to sob. I tell her comforting things about how she really is a good person and one little lapse of judgment doesn't change that. I continue stroking her hair as she begins to calm down. But this didn't feel like before; this was plutonic, innocent. She sits up and looks at me whipping the tears away. "Thank you," she says genuinely. "I should probably be going, it's getting late," she says standing up.

"You don't have to go," I say nonchalantly. She stares at me so I elaborate, "I mean you can stay here." "Nothing like that," I add in in light of the upon her face. "Just friends merely plutonic, two lonely old friends sharing their company."

"I think I'd like that." she says.

"You can even sleep in guest room if you feel weird about it. I mean-" I offer.

"No, no, that's ok. You're an honuorable man; I trust you ." she says awkwardly laughing, looking down at her shoes. _It's myself I don't trust._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: wasn't really sure I was going to continue this story or just make it a one-shot, apparently I chose the former. short and sweet.

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><p>I assumed that laying in the same bed as Narcissa, would be awkward, but strangely it was not. It was relaxing just being in her presence.<p>

We just lied there, her head on my chest just forgetting the world. Then out of the silence she looks over at me and says "You know I haven't really been able to sleep since Lucius went away. I tried piling up pillows, but that never works." Her voice trailing off into silence.

"No, that never works." I confirm. I can tell she hears the longing in my voice but I just continue to draw circles absentmindedly on her skin. She knowing better than to try and pry lets it go.

After a while more of silence she sits up and looks down at me and says, "I really am sorry about earlier."

"I know." I reply simply. There really is nothing more I can say to her about that. Nothing that is, that wouldn't make her fell worse.

I can never tell her what I really though of that kiss. I can't tell her how long I had hoped for her lips upon mine. I can never tell her how I really feel. I care too much. I wouldn't want to mess with her emotions like that. She was happy. She has a husband and a dear Draco. And honestly I don't deserve a woman like Narcissa.

She's so pure, and pefect. I know I see her with rose coloured glasses, but I can see almost no fault. However, she is not mine, nor will she ever be, so I will settle for this. This right here. This is what we have and for me, this is enough.

Having her in my life as a friend is better than not having her at all.


End file.
